Letter to My Boy: Finally Known and Always Loved

My precious little boy, 

For just about a year now, your daddy and I have been anxiously anticipating your arrival. Each and every day since we began this process, I have dreamt about you--what you would look like, how you would come to us, your tiny brown hands, and your huge dark eyes. Day after day, I've dreamed and I've prayed. I have prayed that God would keep our hearts steady on Him, and that God would keep you healthy and growing strong. 

We have certainly had some difficult days on this journey so far. We have stood still and lifeless as we've watched our hearts break into a million tiny pieces. We have looked at numbers that seem unsurpassable. We have wept in God's seeming silence. We have rested in His knowing goodness. 

Two weeks ago, our adoption agency had told us that it would likely be some time before we would know who you were. They said that there were not any little boys even close to being ready to be matched with us. With heavy hearts, we prepared ourselves for more waiting. 

But we had so very many people praying for you and praying for us. Many were praying that we would meet you before Christmas. 

I woke up early last Wednesday morning (December 11) with a very heavy heart. I just could not bear the thought of more waiting to see you. I prayed for you. I prayed that God would make you strong, that God would take care of you wherever you were, that God would provide for each of your needs. Through tears, I closed my prayer with a feeble, seemingly hopeless request:

"Lord, maybe today..."

It was just about all that I could get out. I couldn't even finish my sentence—God knew what I was asking. I had come to Him over and over with this same request. My request today was feeble, yet I still asked. I knew what our agency had just told us—from their wisdom, it would likely not be today. I knew I needed to rest in whatever God had for us. 

A few hours later, your daddy and I were sitting on the couch in the living room. Daddy's phone rang, and it was our agency calling. We were stunned. Surely they couldn't be calling to tell us who you were...

Daddy answered the phone. He put it onto speaker phone so that I could hear whatever they had to say while I sat next to him. 

Our case worker began, "Good morning! I hope that I can make your day today. I know that we just told you that it would be a while, but it looks like we have a little boy for you. Would you like to meet your son?"

She continued on to tell us that you had just been brought to our orphanage the day before, when the other orphanage was too full. God had moved you from one orphanage to our orphanage—delivering you right to us. 

My heart was beating about a million miles an hour. I could not contain the tears that rushed over me. Daddy and I were both crying as she told us more about you. She told us that you were just about two and a half months old, and she also told us your African name. 

We waited for her to e-mail your pictures to us. 

And then we saw you. All of my curiosity and imaginings of you were over...We gazed at you with disbelief. There you were, right there in front of me. My son, my precious little boy. You could not have been any more beautiful! Your deep, dark eyes looked up at us—they were full of life and spirit. Your tiny hands seemed to be grasping and wiggling. Your little face is perfect—each curve imprinted on my memory. Your sweet smile were joyful and happy. And Daddy just absolutely loves your hair—so curly!!

We took a video of the whole thing—just for you. We'll have to show it to you someday when you are a little older. 

And in that instant, we knew you. You are the one whom we have loved, for months and months. You see, we have loved you long before we saw your face. We began to love you as we filled out mountains of paperwork. Our love grew as we saved our pennies, were fingerprinted and interviewed by our government, passed filing milestones. We sent our love across the ocean when we mailed in our dossier to Ethiopia. It has overflown in our hearts as we've waited and waited and waited. 

And now, our love has found you...all the way across the world in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. 

I love you, my sweet son. You just wait—we're coming to get you!!

With love, 
Your momma

Note to our Friends:
Thank you for your prayers to this point. We rejoice in God's goodness. We still have a long road ahead—I'll fill you in on some more of those details in the days to come. Generally, our agency estimates that it will be 6-7 months (at the longest) before we are able to go to Ethiopia for our first trip; then it will likely be another few months before the second trip to bring him home. 

We are also not allowed to post his African name or display any clearly identifying pictures online....Although if you come to see me, I will gladly show you a picture from my phone!! It just seems cruel to share this all with you and not show you any pictures. So sorry!! We also prefer not to share much of his personal story that has brought him to this point. We think it best to leave those details for him to share one day, as he chooses. Thank you for your carefulness and understanding with these details.