What Now?

It's not uncommon for someone to still ask me how our adoption is going. I always appreciate the kind inquiry, but it always stings to have to answer, "Everything fell through. We will never be bringing our little boy home." I choke up and my eyes instantly fill with tears.

That statement is almost always followed with the question, "So what now? Are you still going to adopt from Ethiopia?"

The truth is that because of everything that happened with our original agency, there really is no agency that would pick back up where we left off--having lost our chance at adopting Oliver because of the corrupt orphanage director. No one else, even the agency who took on our case, is really willing to try to help us adopt another child right away...their only offer to us is to basically start back over from the beginning, waiting 3-4 years just to be matched with another child.

Beyond that, I honestly would not recommend anyone start fresh now with an Ethiopian adoption. Things are so shaky and unstable with the general population there being fairly negative toward international adoption, many of the government authorities are almost anti-international adoption. The US Embassy is also moving incredibly slow, refusing to approve many adoptions at all.

With all of that information, I am very hesitant to head into another international adoption program. The fact that we had actual approval from the Ethiopian government to bring Oliver home, and yet they still were unable to enforce their ruling...just leaves me feeling pretty gun shy to work with these under-structured governments at this time. Maybe someday I will be up for the risk again.

So. Where does that leave us?

Well, we still have a heart for adoption. Maybe someday God will make a way for us to offer a home to a child who needs a family. Perhaps domestic adoption? I would love for that opportunity. But at this time, we are not actively pursuing adoption.

We have just finished returning our grant money back to the organizations that had helped us. Our adoption funds are back to zero. A little hard to swallow.

So now I pray that God takes this desire to love and care for a child who desperately needs a home and a family, to demonstrate to them the love of Jesus, and to show them my Savior...I pray that He does something great with it in His own way and in His own timing.