FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

What does the process look like? 

Most people ask what the process looks like and how long the process will take. There really is no exact answer to this question. Although we will generally know which step comes next, we really do not know exactly when we will be taking that step. Due to so many different factors and red tape, the adoption timeline looks different for each family. 

Our adoption agency has given us an approximate timeline of 1 year for the whole adoption process, from start to finish. Unfortunately, this timeline is not set in stone. It is quite possible that things will change –– either to be extended to a much longer time or even to be sped up significantly. We will trust in God's providence in the timing. Please pray with us for patience while we wait!

The Official Process:

1. Formally Apply to an Agency: Initiating Step
2. Complete a Home Study: 1-3 months
3. Compile a Dossier (official paperwork sent to Ethiopia): 2-3 months, can be started during home study
4. Send Dossier to Ethiopia for translation and review: immediately after dossier is approved by our US Adoption Agency, it will be mailed to Ethiopia
5. Wait for a Referral (referral is the official term meaning that a child has been matched to us): 6+ months after dossier is submitted in Ethiopia
6. Trip 1 for Ethiopian Court Date: 2-4 months after we accept a referral
7. Trip 2 for US Embassy Interview and Approval: 2-4 months after Trip 1

Are you unable to have natural-born children?

This question can be a sticky one, as it can be very painful to answer for families who have had difficulties conceiving naturally. I would recommend that you not ask this question to a family who is adopting; rather, wait for them to offer this information. If they do not offer the answer, it is likely a difficult topic for them to discuss. Please never ask adoptive parents questions like: "Are you able to have 'your own' children?" or "Will you still be able to have 'real' children?"

That being said, Dave and I have no reason to believe that we will be unable to conceive children naturally. God-willing, we look forward to having a family with both adopted and natural-born children. However, God has directly laid it on our hearts to adopt first. We do not know if we will adopt more children in the future or if God will choose to bless us with more natural-born children, but we do know that God is clearly leading us to adopt now. 

Will you know anything about your child's background?

Every time a child is brought into one of our agency's orphanages, a thorough investigation is done. If the child was dropped off at the orphanage or a local hospital, the individual is interviewed and must give a reason as to why the child must be given up for adoption. If the reason is viewed as viable, the child is officially accepted into the orphanage. In fact, when we go to Ethiopia, it is a possibility to meet the family/relatives of the adoptive child and we may even be able to visit their home region. 

Sometimes, the child may be abandoned or found at the doorsteps of the orphanage or hospital. In this case, it is very difficult for a full investigation. It is possible that there would be no background information given to us. 

Why does international adoption cost so much?

The only adoptions that are not extremely costly are domestic adoptions (these costs vary). The reason is that these children's care is paid for by state taxes. When these children are adopted, the state is pleased to assist, as they will no longer be paying for the child's care. This is why it can be much more inexpensive.

One source states:

With international adoptions, there is no one to pay for the process except the potential adoptive family. Social workers who do the homestudy must be paid for their work. Adoption agencies such as ours must have a office, staff such as secretaries, phone and internet lines, etc. There are no sources to pay for these except through adoption fees. In other countries, there is much legal work to be done such as obtaining needed documetation, care of the child, food, clothing, nannies, medical care, etc. The airlines, guest houses or hotels where families stay, etc. all charge of fee. The US government, who issues approvals and visas, all charge for that service and the airlines won’t give free tickets to families traveling to adopt a child. Unfortunately, all the above costs money. Ethiopia is the least expensive place to adopt from. An adoption from Guatemala used to cost about $25,000...China is about $25,000 and Ethiopia is $16,000 (these figures do not include homestudy, travel, etc). Many people think that adoption should be free because you are doing a great thing in adopting however the entities above all have costs to providing the service requested by the adoptive family to adopt. A private domestic adoption usually costs about $20,000.. state foster adoptions are usually almost free and are often subsidized.

Will you keep your adoptive child's "real name"?

We are not yet entirely certain as to the answer of this question. There are many different factors and schools of thought. The reality is that obviously a black child will stand out in a white family. He will already feel very different, so we anticipate giving him as many opportunities to feel apart of his new national culture as possible. This will likely include an "American" name. 

We may choose to keep part of his name as a middle name. Although we will strive to incorporate his rich Ethiopian cultural heritage into his life (through food, possible trips, study, etc.), we want him to recognize that he is very much apart of our American family now as well. This is a fine balance. 

Is adoption really the best thing for a child?

If you have done any amount of research on adoption, you have quickly found that some people are vehemently opposed to it. There reasons are many; however, I do not believe any of them surpass the child's need. From my understanding, the pros far outweigh the cons. 

It is said that there are over 147 million orphans around the world. Statistics state that many orphans are released into the "real world" and are quickly preyed upon by traffickers, abusers and even slave traders. Many orphans end up taking their own lives out of despair and lack of hope for the future. The statistics do not lie.

From my perspective, we may have the opportunity to spare one child from this difficult future. We can offer them a loving family, a mom and a dad. Of course, the best case scenario is that every child in this world can be raised by their own biological parents if they would love and care for their needs. However, this is not the reality. Parents die or unable to feed their children, tragedy happens, children are abandoned.

It is far better to love and care for these children than to leave them on their own.

Aren't there many children here in America that need parents as well? Why Ethiopia?

The answer to this is simple. Yes. Of course there are many children right here in America that are looking for their "forever families." We pray that God directs many families to this end. However, God has given us a special love for the African people. There is a need here as well. Because God has given us this specific desire, we have chosen to follow His leading to Ethiopia. 

Will your child be "healthy"?

Each adoptive child in Ethiopia undergoes a formal physical as well as blood tests for specific prominent diseases. When we are given a referral, we will also be given this medical paperwork and it will be assessed by a professional and explained in full to us. Although we have elected to adopt a child without any known special needs, it is very likely that our child will suffer from malnutrition or other "minor" health issues. After all the medical testing is completed, it is, of course, possible that some unknown health problem could arise, just like a problem could arise with any natural born child of ours. If this is the case, we will take this as from God; however, we anticipate a relatively healthy child.