A Novice's Look at Traveling Internationally

Dave and I originally started this blog as a way to document our adoption journey and to keep our friends and family updated with our progress. Recently, more and more people that we have never even met have been contacting us through our blog...people who are also interested in international adoption.  In one way, this is incredibly intimidating--After all, we are just experiencing this all for the first time. We are not experts. We are not professionals. :) This is just our story. On the other hand, along the way, God is teaching us so many lessons. If God can use any of this to be helpful or to be an encouragement to other families who are considering adoption, that is just plain amazing. So if you are a new friend following our blog, shoot us an e-mail or leave a comment introducing yourself. I'd love to connect and help however I can!

Can I just say that I am longing to go back to Africa!? Our missionary friends that we were with last summer in Benin, Africa, just came to Wisconsin for a visit. It was incredibly refreshing to catch up with them-to hear more about the progress in their ministry, to hear the messages they had to pass on to us from our African brothers and sisters in Christ, and to laugh as we recounted memories. I also have another friend from church who is headed to Africa in just a few short weeks for a "medical internship" trip of sorts. All this talk of Africa just has me itching to get back. Soon...hopefully within the next year. :)

With Africa on my heart, I thought that I'd share some excerpts from my journal from our trip to Africa. This trip to Benin was my first trip to a third world country. Eye opening. Amazing.

Today's journal excerpt will just be from the first leg of our travels--If you've never traveled internationally before, I think it can be helpful to see what traveling looks like firsthand, from the eyes of a novice (me). I will include different journal entries from that trip here and there, under the label "A Novice's Look at Traveling Internationally." I hope it can be a help to some of you who might be expectantly looking forward to taking your first trip to a third world country to adopt your little child!

June 2012

Though a pilgrim and wandered on this earth, waiting for my eternal home, I have not yet left the country of USA (unless, of course, you count a few hours in Mexico and Canada each). God has seen fit to direct Dave and I on a missions trip to Benin, West Africa. Though I have never been, Dave has served before in Benin with the same missionaries. With great excitement, I look forward to our trip! The people of Benin speak French-which I do not know; however, through Dave's limited French and with the missionaries' help, I hope to communicate with the people as well. Although we do not speak the same language, I believe the love of Christ can be communicated by many means--for this I pray. My greatest anticipation is the opportunity to see what the Gospel looks like in this culture, where the demonic grasps of animism are powerfully confronted with an unsurpassable message--the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Lord, I want to see Your power at work!

We began our journey eastward at about 10:30 AM. We left Milwaukee, WI for Paris, France at about 1:30. After a short layover in Minneapolis, we headed toward the European continent. With a seven hour time leap forward, we would be missing most of our nighttime rest. Armed with nyquil, we attempted to get as much sleep as possible on this eight hour flight--this was much easier said than done. By 7 AM Parisian time (midnight, ours), we landed in fFrance and groggily stepped off this international flight (my first). I was instantly struck with the number of different languages and ethnicities surrounding me--I am mindful that the Lord has yet to call believers from each of these people groups. Perhaps He will use me to share His Good News with them...Someday, all of these languages will cry out together, "Holy, holy, holy-worthy is the Lamb who was slain for us!" I look forward to that day. Until then, may God use me as His ambassador to the nations.   

Dragging our large suitcases and carry-ons, we began our trek across Paris. Our ambitious goal was to take the train system (kinda like NYC's subways) from the airport to our hotel. One problem-neight of us had ever been here or learned to "decode" the train map. After braving our way onto our first train, we pulled out our map and played our parts well as foolish American tourists. It was not long before we were completely lost, wandering the "connectors" of the train system-dragging our heavy luggage and frantically studying the map. Finally, we gave up-we rose to the surface to secure a taxi to our hotel. Apparently a few short hours of sleep had not offered us enough mindpower to conquer the trains--we'll save that for another day.  

Pushing our way outside, we were astonished to pass three or four Parisian soldiers, armed with automatic machine guns. This is definitely not what I was expecting of the famed romantic city of Paris! What a different place this will be. Soon we found a taxi driver, ironically named Jean Baptiste, who navigated the busy streets for us. I have never before seen roads like this. There are no real traffic lanes (at least none that they actually follow); rather, each driver battles the road on their own, pushing past traffic and pedestrians to make their way. What an experience! It's a good thing I was as tired as I was--no strength for worrying if my driver was capable of the journey.  

We finally arrived at our hotel around 10 AM. We made it to our room where we washed away the grime of travel and caught a few more hours of sleep. We are looking forward to exploring the city--after we have recharged. 

Mini-Post: Dossier is Almost Ready

Hey friends! I just wanted to write a bit of an update for any of you who may be interested on where we are in the process.

On the Paperwork Front:
We are almost ready to submit our dossier!!! We are just waiting on 2 or 3 documents to be delivered to us. We got our "date" with USCIS (Immigration) for our fingerprinting--May 10th. So it looks like we'll be sending that in soon.

On the Fundraising Front:
We have applied for a couple of grants-we are praying that God will continue to make our way clear as He provides and directs. We are working on chipping away at our next lump sum-$11,000 that we have to have in order to accept the referral of a child.

We will be unveiling our two fundraisers soon--Can't wait to tell you all about them! We are thankful for your prayers and continued support. God has been so good to bless us with you all, our friends and supporters who constantly encourage us on our way.

Vinyl Wall Decals: All Sales Go To Our Adoption!!

Friends: We've got another creative way for you to contribute toward our adoption! My side business, A Touch of Vinyl, will be using 100% of the proceeds from any vinyl orders toward our adoption!! If you'd like to decorate your home or design vinyl gifts for friends, here is your chance. You can use adhesive vinyl lettering (which adheres well to most surfaces, but it can also be peeled off without leaving any damage to the paint). Below are some pre-made vinyl designs that are ready for order. You can also order a custom design. You can check out my website (linked above) for more specifics on vinyl color choices, fonts, etc. as well if you'd like to order a custom design vinyl--I can design just about anything you'd like! Here is some of my work:

7" x 6.5" Africa Silhouette-Not Leave You as Orphans

$9.99

5"x20" I will not leave you as orphans.

$15.99

6.5" x 30" God is enough.

$25.99

6 foot ruler (vinyl only) for wall/board

$25.99

6.5" x 30" Consumed with the Creator (C.S. Lewis)

$25.99

6.5" x 30" My house will serve the Lord

$25.99

7" x 7.3" Sweet Dreams

$9.99

3.5" x 11" Bon Appetit

$9.99

7.5" x 9.5" The Smallest Things

$12.99

10" x 8" Coffee Cup

$9.99

If you'd like to make a vinyl order, you can e-mail me (emiley.marriott@gmail.com) with the following information:

For Ready to Order/Pre-made Vinyl Orders

1. Which pre-made vinyl you'd like either from my website or from the options above.
2. What color vinyl you'd like (options can also be seen on my website). 
3. If you need any variance in the size of the vinyl--what size about you'd like it to be. 

For Custom Vinyl Orders

1. What you'd like your custom vinyl order to say.
2. What size space you'd like it to fill.
3. If you have a preference on font or style (fonts can be seen on my website, but I can use almost any other font as well).
4. What color vinyl you'd like (options can be seen on my website).

After you e-mail me what you'd like, we'll settle on a design and price that you like. Then I will e-mail you a paypal invoice, through which you can pay directly with your credit card. You don't even need a paypal account. Paypal is a very secure way to make online payments.

Let the creativity begin. Time to decorate your home or design a gift for someone else--AND every penny will go toward our adoption!!

The Cost of A Life...How Much Does Adoption Really Cost?

What does it really cost to adopt? Why does it cost so much? Where do all the payments actually go? Isn't that just robbery--"they" (whoever that is) should make it easier so that more families can help children in need. We're often asked questions like these. They're not bad questions, and I am thankful that people are even asking questions. But the answer to cost of adoption questions is simple:

Yes. Adoption is expensive.

Below, I have the break down of the numbers. This is where the costs go. When it comes to international adoption, the only people willing to pay for these costs are the adoptive parents. Many of these countries have a huge number of orphans, making it virtually impossible for them to care for all those children's needs. The life expectancy for an adult in Ethiopia is only 56 years old. In fact, 50% of their population is below the age of 16. Of those children, there are an estimated 5 million orphans in Ethiopia ALONE (compared to the half a million in the US). 147 million (at least) worldwide. The numbers are absolutely staggering.

No government program, much less in a developing third world country, is capable of covering these costs. So, who pays for these costs (the paperwork, the medical, the processing, the care, the immigration, etc.)? Parents. This is why adoption costs so much. It's really not some adoption agency or third world country trying to suck the "rich Americans" dry... (Although, there certainly are extreme instances where this is the case.) It's expensive to sustain a life. Here is the official breakdown of the international adoption costs for Ethiopia:

$100................Application Fee for Home Study
$2000..............Home Study Fee
$300................Application Fee for International Agency
$450................Gathering Documents for Dossier
(birth certificates, marriage certificates, passport renewals, background checks, etc.)
$100................Medical Physicals
$890................Immigration and Fingerprints (USCIS)
$6000..............Adoption Agency Fee
$1000..............Dossier Submission Fee (translation, processing in Ethiopia)
$11,000...........Program Fee
(This must be paid on the spot in order to accept a referral when we've been matched with a child; otherwise, we are passed by)
$300-$1000....Medical Fee (for doctor to review our child's medical file before we can accept him)
$3400.............Airfare for First Trip to Ethiopia
$40.................Visas for First Trip
$1600.............In Country Medical/Immigration/Official Documents for our Child
$160/day........Food/Lodging/Transportation while in Ethiopia on First Trip (price set by Agency)
$440...............Gifts in Ethiopia (for those who cared for our child)

$3400.............Airfare for Second Trip to Ethiopia

$800...............Airfare for Our Child

$40.................Visas for First Trip

$160/day........Food/Lodging/Transportation while in Ethiopia on Second Trip (price set by Agency)

$250/month....Fee Paid to Care Center 

(if it takes longer than 6 months from acceptance date to bring our child home)

When we first began this process, these finance numbers were completely overwhelming. While they are still overwhelming, I am learning to recognize and believe this truth: $30,000 is just a drop in the bucket to God. (Side note: If you're able to adopt more than one child, usually the only fees you have to pay twice are the Program Fee-which lessens with the growing age of the child or if they're a sibling group- some medical/official documents and airfare.) I am absolutely amazed at how God has provided for our needs so far. We're almost half way through these finances!! Our next "mountain" that we're saving for is the $11,000 Program Fee for Ethiopia. We have to reach that number before we can accept a referral. Honestly, we're waiting a bit to send in our dossier until we can get going on this program fee. I don't think I would be able to say 'no' once our agency sends us a picture of a child.

So to those who have been reading this blog post: I do not want to communicate that every Christian should adopt a child. No, that's not necessarily God's path for everyone. However, perhaps you are thinking about adopting, but covering the costs seems impossible to you. Let's put this into perspective a bit. Our God owns it all. Of course, you must be wise and prudent, but when God calls us to something-He makes it possible. Many people would take out a car loan for a $30,000 car, but wouldn't consider adopting a child for the same "price." I'm not trying to guilt you into anything...but just recognize that God certainly has the ability to provide for our financial needs, especially when we are following His direction. Don't let the financial barrier close your entire mind on the matter. After all, this is a life. $30,000 is a small price to pay for a life.

Looking forward to those (ever growing) Ethiopian orphan numbers being 5 million minus 1. :)

Nine Months

Nine months...the normal amount of time that a family waits for their new child to come into the "outside world." If this were the way that we were growing our family right now, we'd be about half way there. I'd be finishing up those early days of morning sickness, resale shopping for gently used infant clothes and toys and decorating a nursery. I'd also be eating just the right foods prescribed for an expecting mother and taking all the vitamins that baby needed to grow strong. I would likely be doing everything that I could be to help my baby grow strong and healthy!

Nine months...If only I could be sure that my boy would be in my arms in just nine months. Rather than taking every physical precaution to ensure my baby's health, my preparation looks so very different.

Likely, my boy has already experienced greater loss and loneliness than I will ever see. As is the case in most orphanages, the formula is probably stretched as far as possible--watered down by the caring nannies, who may be unsure as to when the next batch of formula will come.

My preparation is paperwork. The endless trail of paperwork (referred to by adopting parents as "paper pregnancy") is far, so very far, from exciting. I am often filling out the same exact form for three different agencies. In fact, we celebrate finishing one set of forms by (drum roll please) beginning yet another set of forms!! Wohoo! Some days, it's difficult to feel like we are making any progress. But, we just keep plodding forward--knowing that in the end, our sweet boy will be home. It may just take 9 months  10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 20 months. We just don't know.

The reality is this: My Father knows.

When my thoughts so often drift through these details, I find myself complaining, "The only thing I can do about any of these details (my son's health, our timeline, etc.) is pray." What a complaint, huh? The only thing I can do is bring my requests before my heavenly Father, who is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-sovereign in my situation. The One-who formed the very world with His words, who breathed life into man, who knits together each baby in the womb-He is the one in control of our adoption process. Beyond that, He is the one who rules over the lives of every child-orphan or not. He is the Protector of the innocent, Father of the fatherless. Whether my child is over in Africa or right here in Wisconsin, God holds his life in His hands.

SO-I pray now, before my child enters our lives. I pray as we bring him home from Ethiopia. I pray as he adjusts into his new life in America. I pray as he grows, eats, sleeps, plays. Each step of the way, as adoptive parents or not, we pray that God will care for us, doing what He deems best for our lives. And if this process doesn't take 9 months (which there is pretty much no chance of), God will strengthen me, prepare me, and give me wisdom for the steps ahead. And hopefully help me to be patient. :)

Ethiopia in Milwaukee

Last Thursday, after a day full of spring cleaning and organizing, Dave took me out for a date night! We love our date nights. :) This time, we decided to venture to downtown Milwaukee (just a 20 minute drive) for an authentic Ethiopian cuisine. We were excited to find that there are actually a few Ethiopian restaurants to choose from in the area. Oh the possibilities! We finally landed at Alem Ethiopian Village.

We walked into the casual atmosphere with excitement. The simple restaurant was decorated with many traditional African pictures and artifacts, complete with an African music video to serenade us. :) We were welcomed by Mulu, the owner. This Ethiopian woman was incredibly warm and kind. She was excited to find that this would be our first introduction to Ethiopian cuisine, and she carefully guided us through the menu, explaining the different food choices.

We ordered Doro Wot, Yebeg Alitcha, Yemiser Wot, Gomen (which, being translated is seasoned lamb and chicken with vegetables). :) Just about every traditional Ethiopian meal is served on a giant pancake-like bread, called injera. All of the rest of the food is piled on top of the injera. You also do not generally use utensils (although you can ask for them); rather, you use small pieces of injera to pick up your serving. We were beyond excited to find out that authentic injera is actually gluten free!! Yay for Dave! Our meal looked like this:

Our meal was an experience which we wanted to thoroughly enjoy. Mulu was very conversational with us, and was enjoying the opportunity to ask all of our questions about Ethiopia! She shared with us about their history, their food, their culture and her personal experience of coming to America. She was amazingly hospitable! 

Toward the end of our meal, we felt at liberty to mention that we were actually planning on visiting Ethiopia sometime in the near future. This opened the door wide to share about our adoption. We were a bit hesitant to talk about it at first--People can respond in a variety of ways when they hear that you have adopted a child from their home country. Some may feel ashamed, thinking that their country was unable to care for its own. Others may be angry, thinking that we have robbed the child of his identity, forcing him to become American. Yet others are able to see adoption for what it is--one family taking a child in, who would otherwise have no family. In no way would we ever want to communicate to our new friend that we thought her home country is inferior or incapable. We were not sure what her view of international adoption would be. You see, all of that is not really what adoption is about--one country seeming more superior than another country. That’s not it at all. Adoption is all about a child, who is in need of a loving family. 

Thankfully, our hostess respond with grace and excitement about our adoption. We continued on to explain that we are striving to learn much about Ethiopian culture and food, so that we can teach these things to our future son. We told her that we would like to bring him to her restaurant too! We also learned that there are many other families who frequent her restaurant who have also adopted from Ethiopia. It was a sweet point of conversation. We look forward to growing our friendship with her. :) 

Following our meal, we enjoyed Ethiopian coffee--which Mulu had roasted and ground by hand that day! It was very good, although different from regular coffee as it did have cloves and other spices mixed into it. Overall, we greatly enjoyed our Ethiopian meal, our introduction into Ethiopian culture. We look forward to many more trips to Alem Ethiopian Village (restaurant), most of which will include our own son.