Thanksgiving

God has gifted believers with a most precious gift...a spiritual family. When you become a Christian, you are adopted into God's family--never to be cast out, given an inheritance that is incorruptible and unfading.

Scripture is filled with admonitions of how we ought to live within this new spiritual family. How we ought to treat one another and interact together. How we ought to respond when someone hurts us or wrongs us. How we ought to uphold each other when one falls down or feels burdened with a heavy load.

As most of you know, my husband is a pastor. As such, we often find ourselves helping other people with their heavy burdens. Grieving with them at the loss of a loved one, pleading with the truth of God's Word for a marriage that's breaking, praying with them when their hearts are overwhelmed and overcome with sadness. This is a great privilege.

Well, these past six weeks, we have seen a beautiful thing. We have experienced this love and support of our spiritual family. When I have lost hope, I have received a note of God's goodness and grace. When my day is filled with tears, flowers show up at our front door. When I grow weary in my waiting for answers, my phone is flooded with text messages about God's character. When my heart is tempted to be bitter about the trial I am experiencing, a loving friend shares her story of how God has turned her bitterness to joy. The Facebook messages, the song links, the financial gifts, the prayers.

Most of you likely know that we have been waiting now for the Ethiopian government to give the final word as to whether we can move forward with this adoption. In the past six weeks, we have updated our home study (another whole long story), made an agreement with an adoption agency who's willing to help us, contacted private investigators, received news that Oliver is truly an orphan--able to be adopted, chased after state representatives and DOS officers, scrambled to gather papers that could possibly help us move forward...All without any guarantee from Ethiopia.

These days have grown long. The Psalms have been my dearest counselors of God's goodness. And just when I was growing so weary, I thought I could not wait another day...my spiritual family helped me to raise my head to the Father, to trust and rest in Him.

Last week, that was precisely where I found myself. Weary. Sad. With an incredibly heavy heart. Every simple little thing was making me cry. Plain and simple. I was a basket case.

My sister had invited us over for dinner that night. Though I felt like showing up in my sweats, I cleaned up for the night and we headed over to their home. We walked into their home, and we were greeted not just by my sister and brother-in-law and their sweet twins--but also by a number of our friends. I was taken back a bit...not sure what to expect. But then I saw some pictures of my son, placed prominently with a card. I didn't know what they had in mind, but I knew it had something to do with our son. I couldn't hold back the tears.

Soon we learned that these dear friends had all gathered on our behalf. They had gathered to pray for us. These, who had long been bearing this weight of ours in the quietness of their own homes, had gathered to bring our requests before the Father.

Dave and I sat in their living room, hand in hand, as these brothers and sisters began to intercede for us. They passed around these prepared lists--which guided the night of prayer. They started by praying for Dave and I. They prayed:

• For Patience in tribulation (Romans 12:12; James 1:12)
• To have the mind of Christ (Phil. 2:5)
• To "truth" ourselves when temptation to think on lies comes (John 17:17)
• To have Joy in the midst of difficulty (Phil. 4:4; James 1:2)
• Battle Fear and Anxiety; to Pray out of a trusting heart and resting in God's sovereignty (James 1:6; Phil. 4:6-7)
• To Battle Discontentment (Job 1:21)
• For our Overwhelming responsibilities and To-do List (Phil. 4:19)
• That we would Taste and See that the Lord is Good-even in the midst of pain (Ps. 34:8)
• That God's Presence would be tangible (Is. 41:13)

My tears would not be stopped. I could not believe that these friends had gathered just for us, just to love us and to pray for us. 

They continued to pray for Oliver:

• Praised God that Oliver has been located. God, the "Helper of the Fatherless" has done this.
• Prayer for his Safety
• Prayer for his Health 
• Prayer for his Livelihood and wellbeing as he is being shuffled around from place to unknown place
• Prayer for his Caretakers-that they may shower him with love and tenderness, special care 

Our evening continued with dinner and fellowship, but they concluded with one last season of prayer for us. They prayed for the obstacles in our way. They prayed for the desires of our hearts. 

Step by step, they prayed through the rest of the things that would have to happen before Oliver would come home. They prayed that God would grant our desires and accomplish this work quickly. They prayed that whatever God did, our hearts would rest. 

Never before have I been so humbled and felt so loved. I praise God for the gift that He has given in blessing us with a spiritual family. God did not need to supply us with a number of friends who have reached out to us in a variety of ways, but He has. What an incredible blessing. 

I thank each of you who has been following our story, who has prayed on your own, who has demonstrated your love, who has prayed with us, who has written notes or emails, who has sent text messages. Whether your support has been done in a public way or has been a private intercession in prayer--I thank God for you. 

And now, as we wait, please pray that the government of Ethiopia would decide soon what will happen with our case...how they would like us to proceed, if they would like us to proceed. We are also praying that the orphanage director would see fit to send us an update and picture of Oliver, who is now about six months old. Thank you for your prayers. 

I Don't Have Any Promises

Dave here this time, just to offer some "rough" thoughts from my heart.

I have been thinking long and hard about the biblical account of Abraham, particularly reflecting upon the bold faith that was required for him to leave all that he had ever known in order to go to a place that the Lord hadn’t even revealed to him yet.

Comparing our present situation to Abram’s, I thought: How easy it was from Abram to believe since he had been given an amazing set of promises, directly from the Lord…but, in the middle of all this adoption waiting and uncertainty, we don’t have any promises like that.

I went so far as to verbalize this to a couple of godly friends, who probably immediately saw the flaw in my thinking, but graciously said nothing to correct me, realizing that I just needed to come out of the theological fog that trials often produce (they did much better than Job’s friends!).

Nonetheless, here is the reality of our situation: we don’t have a promise exactly like Abraham’s; the Lord has not spoken to us to assure us that our son is indeed coming home. None of that has happened.

But we do have promises. How wrong I was! In fact, we are the recipients of God’s promised blessing through Abraham! Ultimately, he was promised not just a great number of descendants, but a single Descendant — the Christ, the Son whom God would send, rather than spare (Is. 9:6; Rom. 8:32; Gal. 4:4-5). Ironically, it is the fulfillment of that very promise to Abraham that presently is assuring us that God is for us (He’s on our side!), that nothing can separate us from His love, and that for us all things will work together for the good (Rom. 8:31-39, 28).

Now we certainly understand that the good that God is working may not be that He is bringing Oliver home, although it looks like this possibility is getting stronger by the day. Rather, the good that He is working is the degree to which God further chisels Emiley and me to look like Jesus, the One who is our brother by virtue of our blood-purchased adoption into God’s family (Rom. 8:29)! In that way, our good and God’s glory are inseparably linked.

In light of all this, friends, please don’t tell us: I have faith that God will bring your son home. Frankly, our faith is not in what we want God to do. Rather, our faith is in God Himself, based upon who He has revealed Himself to be and based upon what He has done for us in Christ. If you’ve said that to us, we know you mean well, and we sure love you still! In fact, we were moved that you said anything to us at all. But, please know that our faith is in God, not necessarily in a particular outcome for this situation.

And so the hard reality facing us today is still that we do not know what God will do; we are not assured that God will bring our son home. Yet what we do know is that God has sent His Son to bring us “home” — adopted, clothed in a perfect white garment, seated at His table, sharing an inheritance with Jesus, and enjoying its guarantee already. Since God has proved Himself to be for us in this resounding and irrefutably objective way, we must fight to trust Him to do what is best in this situation — to disseminate the gospel through us, to show forth His glory, to make us more like Jesus, and a countless other billion things that exist in His mind alone.

Letters to My Boy

My sweet Oliver, 
For twenty-two days now, I have not known where you were. For these three weeks, every detail concerning bringing you home has been in question. My heart has feared the worst...The silence has been unbearable. I have grieved that perhaps I would never be able to bring you home, son. My arms ache to hold you, to comfort you. I long to see your smile.

But God has truly been my portion. As I have sorrowed, God has provided joy. As I have felt so very lost, the Word has been my Compass, guiding me to think on truth. As all around, my world feels as if it's giving way, God has been my Hope, my Stay, my Anchor. 

God has blessed me abundantly with a spiritual family who has supported and uplifted my heavy heart. Some of these are our physical family, while others are apart of our church body. Others have been friends from the past, who have particularly been weighed to bring our situation before the Father. These ones have prayed fervently for you, for me. They have spoken reminders of truth, Who God is, into my life. They have been a gift. Truly. 

Amidst the uncertainty, God has seen fit to give us another gift. Since we began this process, my heart has been knit together with another momma who is also waiting for her son to come home. Around the same time, we both began this adoption journey with the same agency. Unknowingly, we were both completing the "paper chase" at the same speed. We both jumped into the "waiting to be matched to our sons" boat at about the same time. It was at this time that I first became acquainted with Clarisa Polanco. Little did I know, we would battle together for you boys. We would weep together. We would fight together. What began as a casual acquaintance has grown into a sisterhood. Together, we pray that our sons will come home. I pray for you, Oliver. And she prays for her Tiago.

Every day that I feel afraid or low, Clarisa knows. When we get good news or bad news, she hears from me. And I hear from her. We rejoice together and we weep together. 

Because another friend gifted your Daddy and I with an unexpected trip to Florida, we have been privileged to finally meet Clarisa and Jorge in person. Our time with them has been sweet. They know precisely what we are going through, as they are experiencing the very same emotions. 

Our first night, we stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, overjoyed to finally be together. The next day, we all sat together as we anxiously listened to a conference call with the ones we hired to find our boys, to investigate into your stories, to find out if you were truly adoptable-in need of our families. 

During this call, we learned that they still did not know for sure where you were. We also learned that your stories were indeed true; and, provided you are found and that Ethiopia allows us to continue, we could still adopt you. We learned that two other adoption agencies were willing to work with us and the Polancos respectively. It would not be easy. The road would not be steady nor straight. It would be costly. The end is still not certain. 

But we were given hope. In this we rejoiced. 

Although there were still many uncertainties, we rejoiced at this new information. The first real information in weeks. When our call was finished, your Daddy led us all in prayer and we thanked God for His goodness and prayed for further news and direction. 

The rest of the day, our conversation was filled with questions and hopes. Together, we rejoiced that there was light--You may still be coming home. 

Finally. On Wednesday, we received an email that calmed my greatest fear of the past month. You have been found. I know where my son is. He is no longer lost. You had been moved hours out of the city to eastern Ethiopia. Your orphanage knows that we want you. That you are connected with us. We are yours and you should be ours. The orphanage has agreed to shelter you and care for you until we can finally bring you home. 

We also learned that by the end of this week, another agency has agreed to help us. We will need to redo much of our paperwork. You will need to be re-referred to us. Many of the fees will need to be paid again. The road is uncharted. It is risky. Uncertain. There are still many moving pieces, some of which could end everything. 

But today, we have hope. 

We are coming. 

With love, 
Momma

God, My Preservation

(earlier this week)

Psalm 16 

1  Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

2  I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    I have no good apart from you.”

5  The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
    you hold my lot.

7  I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
    in the night also my heart instructs me.

8  I have set the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

9  Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being      rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.

10  For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
    or let your holy one see corruption.

11 You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

God, My Preservation

God, You preserve me, guiding and protectingly weary soul. In these days, I have run to you for refuge-and You have given it. 

Lord, when my soul longs for answers-for my son-You have reminded me that You are my portion. You are an abundant and sufficient portion.

God, You preserve my lot--my place in life is held within Your capable hands. Beyond that, You counsel me in the way I should go. 

Lord, You preserve the very ground beneath me. Though every day seems to bring shifting sands, I will not be shaken--because of You. 

You preserve my heart, my being, my flesh. Because of Who You are, I can have joy. I can be secure in the future, whatever it may bring.

You preserve the path before me. You direct my steps. Despite the unsurety of the storm around me, I can rest in Your presence. Though my heart aches, I can find joy at Your right hand.