Just over a year ago, we first laid eyes on the boy who would become (forever in our minds) our first son. This past year has been painstakingly long and difficult. Hope for his homecoming has come and gone, over and over again.
About a month and a half ago, our agency told us that they could no longer actively work on our case. Though we have done multiple investigations to prove his orphan status and adoptability and the Ethiopian government has given approval for his adoption--his orphanage director has still refused to obey her authorities. Tarik, the orphanage director of the Biftu orphanage system, has deliberately disobeyed the Ethiopian government. Hungry for power and revenge, she has literally hidden away each of the children from their adoptive families and from the government. From an American perspective, it is agonizing to see the Ethiopian authorities unable to actually carry out their own rulings. This is just not something we often see here, where there is infrastructure and proper chain of command. Every fiber of my being screams at the injustice and the inability to do anything to change this situation. One woman's anger is literally holding all of these children captive, hidden in the system--treating them more as pawns of currency rather than actual children in need of families. (Side note for those considering international adoption or in process: Ask your agency which orphanages they use and then research those orphanages. Ask how children are brought into the orphanage, what type of paperwork, investigations and protocol is in place. Stay informed. Rogue orphanage directors who operate outside of the terms of their own government cannot be trusted and should not be perpetuated. If considering Ethiopian adoption, clearly stay far away from the Biftu orphanage system. I have much, much more that I could write about these ethics and the questions you must be asking as a potential adoptive parent--but I will not go there today.)
So it seems that we have come to the end of this journey with our little David Oliver. If somehow, the situation ever changes, our agency has said that they will make us aware.
Having had a few months to process this all, we still do not know what we will do next. Though I know this scenario is difficult to relate to or understand for most people, know that it is loss. We have lost our son. And for this we have been greatly grieving.
Many continue to ask what we will do next. Will we continue with international adoption? Domestic adoption? Natural-born children?
We do not know yet. We are asking for wisdom from the Father. We trust that He will direct us, opening and closing doors as He sees fit. Though we look forward to the possibility of being parents again some day, we do not just desperately want a child to replace the one we lost. He will never be replaced. He will always be our first. In the future, we will rejoice if the Lord would bless us with another child--but it would be just that, a different child, our second. Though I will not know the details of his life, I will pray for him as my own son.
I do not know what the Father is doing through this all--but I do know who the Father is. He is good. He is loving. He is sovereign. He is just. Through these many months, He has taken my shattered heart and held it closely. He has been my portion. He has sustained.
I know these details today are a smattering of information, bits and pieces, with nothing fully developed. I apologize if this leaves you with more questions than answers. I hope to continue to write and explain more on the side of what God is teaching me through this all in the days to come. But for now, these bits of information will suffice.
No comments:
Post a Comment