Fearful to Follow

Over the next few weeks, my heart would turn between extreme excitement and overwhelming fear. Although I knew that my desire was to adopt, I battled through many fears and doubts before resting in this decision. God had a lot of work to do in my heart and in my mind to keep me thinking on truth. It was time to really take every thought captive. Time to take my fearful doubts and align them with the truth of God's Word. It is here that I found rest.

"But Lord, adoption is expensive. How could we ever afford it?"

Discouragement:
International adoption can cost anywhere between $25,000-$40,000. We just do not have this kind of money lying around. Neither do we really think it wise for us to take out a loan for the entire amount. Maybe only wealthy families should adopt. I mean, we don't want to be sending out letters and asking people for money either. Can this really happen?

Truth: 
Philippians 4:19- "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory."
I Thessalonians 5:24- "Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it."

"What if we let people down by adopting? Maybe we should have our own 'natural-born' children first..."

Discouragement:
Part of me was a bit ashamed that we were deciding to adopt first. I know how much our family and close friends are looking forward to us having children. Wouldn't we be a disappointment? Maybe we should have our own "natural-born" children first, and then adopt down the road.

Truth:
Psalm 31:24- "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord."
Psalm 131:3- "Hope in the Lord, from this time forth and forevermore."
Psalm 130:5-7 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I hope; My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning. O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love..."
Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

I spent much time in Psalms to encourage my heart. As I delighted to seek God's direction, He gave me this desire to adopt. It is from Him, so I obey. My hope is in the Lord.

"The wait. The wait can be so long--up to 4 years. Am I really that patient? No."

Discouragement:
I am excited to have a family. I love children and long to raise our own. But the wait can be so long. Some agencies are saying that it can be up to 4 years before everything is all said and done...before you have a child in your arms. I can't wait that long.

Truth:
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Philippians 2:14-15 "Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blamelss and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."
Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."