Letters to My Boy

Hey Bud,
This last week has been a pretty tough one for me. I have said goodbye for the last time on earth to one of my dearest and best, my grandma. I had hoped that she would get the chance to know and love you too, but God had other plans. I want to share with you a little bit about this wonderful woman, who has taught me so very much.

A few months back, my Gram listened excitedly as I told her about our plans to adopt you and bring you home into our family. I had been a little nervous, as I wasn't sure how she would respond. Gram and Grandpa grew up in a different time. I prayed that God would give me wisdom and clarity as I shared our exciting news. And as soon as I explained what Daddy and I have been doing to bring you home, a smile spread across her face. I will never forget that.

Gram continued on to share in my joy. She described how welcoming and loving her family had been over the years, even when not everyone was accepting of other people that didn't look exactly like them. She told story after story, and I listened with relief and joy. She was so excited to meet you!

My gram was a very special lady--one of a kind. She was absolutely beautiful, inside and out. She was full of life and spunk. She was funny and sweet--but she always told you like it is. Grandma and Grandpa have really grown a stunning family too. Through thick and thin, they've braved the last 58 years together. They've raised five children, and loved all who've entered their doors. They have taught us all that family is important. Family sticks together. Family stands up for one another. Family is patient. Family is forever.

Your great-gram has been battling cancer for the past few years. She was a fighter. She was strong. Last year, she had surgery to remove her caner-filled lung. The doctors thought they were successful. We thought that she was doing much better, but we were wrong. The cancer came back with a fury. The doctors told her that there was little chance that she would survive. These past few months were very hard on her frail body, and last weekend she went into the hospital.

The cancer had run its course. Each of us took turns staying with Gram while she was in the hospital that weekend. During the day, our huge family overran the hall outside of her hospital room! The hospital had to move her to a different room that had a waiting room right next to it, just so we could all have somewhere to stay. At night, we stayed by ones and twos, holding her hand and singing her songs until she drifted off to sleep. That time with her was so sweet. The woman who had cared for me when I was sick as a child, I now cared for her in her illness and pain.

We knew she did not have long, and we just had one goal for her: We wanted her to come home. She wanted to come home. We worked hard to bring her home, to the place she loved.

Within just a few hours of resting at home, it became clear that her time was coming. Our entire family gathered around her. Grandpa held her close in his arms. Together we prayed and sang to her one last time, Amazing Grace.

Amazing grace,
How sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost,
But now am found.
Was blind, but now I see. 

From the center of this beautiful, loving scene, my sweet Gram left this earth and went home to heaven. No more to suffer the pain of a broken world. Now she is with Jesus.

My heart has ached this week so very much. I have cried many tears. I have missed my dear Grandma. I have longed to be with family, my family. That's you too, buddy. Can't wait until you're home with me, love. I so wished you could have met your great Gram...I suppose now that will have to wait until heaven.